Wednesday, December 25, 2013

The Snuff Files (199?)

A friend of mine sent this to me unsolicited. I assume it's something he downloaded. I don't really know what this is. There are no credits to be found other than "Club-Dead presents The Snuff Files, staring Christy & Loren", no listing on IMDB and nothing turned up when I Google'd it. If I had to guess, this was something made for the fetish market and there weren't too many copies in circulation. There are "coming attractions" at the end with the exact same actors and set-ups. 

This is broken into 4 segments, the first of which is "The Chase". A woman enters a home calling out someone's name and gets no answer. After 5 minutes or so of snooping around, a grey-haired dude walks up behind her and breaks her neck. He lays her out on a bed (which just happens to be there) rubs his hands over her still-clothed body for a few minutes, then rubs under her clothes before carrying her to his car, depositing her in the trunk and stripping her naked. 

"Exercise Break" starts out with a woman jumping on a hotel room bed for a couple of minutes until a guy breaks in and snaps her neck. The same grey-haired guy from the first scene comes in and is shocked to find her dead, then runs his hands over her still-clothed body for a few minutes before eventually stripping her naked. He positions her on the bed and begins to take off his pants, but hears a noise and runs off. 

In "Ransom", a woman is lifting weights (camera zooming tightly on her crotch) until a guy comes in and pulls a gun on her. He caresses her with the gun, then calls her father demanding a $250,000 ransom. After hanging up, she tells him he's got the wrong person and that her family doesn't have any money. A second phone call confirms this and he decides to kill her instead. He places her in the bathtub and shoots her twice (neither gun shot makes a sound other than the click of the trigger). She moans and writhes in pain before eventually dying. 

The fourth segment, "The Harem Execution", is the strangest of the bunch. A woman dances in a sheer outfit for a long fucking time, shaking her ass to music that doesn't sound one bit Arabian. She strips out of her clothes, then puts them back on before a guy comes in and hands her a letter. She reads it and begins crying, he explains that it is "his duty" and tells her she must die. Her last wish is to dance for him. He grants her wish, bringing on another lengthy dance scene which he ends prematurely by shooting her in the abdomen with a crossbow badly injuring her. She begs him to finish her off and he plunges a sword into her chest.  

This mess was shot on video. There are copious amounts of VCR hum and slow-motion scenes that crawl at a snail's pace with no audio. If I had to guess, at least 20% of this "film" is in slow motion with no audio other than the droning VCR hum. There's no acting to speak of, so it's pointless to go into how bad it was. Numerous times, though, the eyes and limbs of supposedly dead women move on their own. Once, a mouth closes while panning down to her groin. 

Nothing brutal or sexual ever happens throughout the film - just a bunch of groping and a couple of chuckle-inducing special effects. If they wanted this to look like a snuff film, they probably should have skipped the hokey set-ups, ridiculous costumes, multiple camera shots and shitty attempts at video editing. What they ended up with was 65 minutes of shit. 

I doubt you'll find this without going out of your way looking for it. Save yourself the trouble and don't. This is a failure in every way. 
 
1/5

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